Monthly Archives: April 2011

Contrary to popular opinion, I do not up and marry every cowboy who asks me

Contrary to popular opinion, I do not up and marry every cowboy who asks me. The first time I was proposed to traumatized both me and my mama, and it certainly did not end with a big white dress flowin’ … Continue reading

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Royal Wedding, Texas Style—Possum not included

Yeah, yeah, Kate’s got a tiara and she’s getting’ a crown, and the royal wedding is getting to be a royal pain in the ass. If you really want a royally good time, y’all oughta attend a good Texas wedding. … Continue reading

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Birds, bees and conjugal visits

Spring at the ranch is out in full force–despite the temperature being hotter than the hammered hinges of hell, flowers are rioting, birds are singing and bees are doing their thing. And a pair of roadrunners have taken up residence … Continue reading

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Spring back at the ranch

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Sadly, Chicken-Fried Bacon is Not One Of The Four Basic Food Groups

Despite what you may have heard, chicken-fried bacon is not one of the four food groups. I have spent several years trying to convince Chap that there are foods that do not have to be battered, fried or soaked in … Continue reading

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My dog, the conscientious objector

“Do you know what your dog did?” “Oh, no,” I groaned, hoping my little Border collie devil-dog hadn’t decided to eat the house. Again. Last week he chewed up a pair of Chap’s reading glasses and barely lived to tell … Continue reading

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Fires rage through Texas

When Chap came back up to the house Sunday, his jaw was set and he didn’t take off his leather work gloves. “The deer are moving,” he said. I nodded, “I saw that,” I said, and went to fetch my … Continue reading

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